WHAT I (DON'T) LIKE ABOUT YOU?

extracted from an email forwarded to me... i find all these very
true even from my own perspective.


Sunday, June 4, 2006
posted by James at 9:28 am

One of the things Amy promised you, our dear 000Relationships
readers, is my perspective on what makes women irresistible.  It's
an interesting topic, because there are so many ways for a woman to
be irresistible: in physical, emotional, and sometimes just
intangible ways.  Then there are the innervating ways that women
can just be plain...well, RE-sistable!  So I've gone through my
conversations with guys, married and unmarried, and come up with a
list of female attributes we like-and hate.  I hope this gives you
a better understanding of what men find irresistible, which is
quite often a balanced personality and lifestyle.  Enjoy!

ATTITUDE

LIKE:
-Men DO like nice girls...but not too nice.  By "nice", we mean
someone who's easy to get along with...but also someone who RESPECTS
herself.  Just like women don't like male pushovers, so males don't
enjoy female pushovers, either.  It's a balance, like almost every
trait.  There's always room for the "grey zone".

DON'T LIKE:
-A woman who falls into the black and white areas: a woman who's
too nice, or too demanding (read: bitchy).  Extreme personalities
often lead to extreme disasters.  Men like a challenge, so it's
nice to have a woman who will challenge you-but all while not
falling into "complete bitch" category.  Again, it all comes down
to finding the middle area.

HUMOR

LIKE:
-A girl who loves to laugh, and can appreciate different types of
humor.

NOT FUNNY!:
-A girl who doesn't laugh at ANYthing, and gives a man a nasty
glare or rude comment when she doesn't enjoy his sense of humor
(unless, of course, it was completely offensive).

CAREERS

LIKE:
-A girl who knows what she wants, enjoys what she does, and works
hard for it, but still finds time for friends and family.  A nice,
balanced life-which, admittedly, isn't always easy.

NOT GONNA "WORK" OUT!:
-A girl who knows what she wants, and gets it by shutting out all
but those who can be of immediate benefit to her.  To those who
AREN'T of immediate benefit, she is cold, ruthless, and generally
impossible to be around.  Work comes first, you come last.

EMOTIONS

LIKE:
-A girl who's open with her feelings, but doesn't make you feel
guilty for her feeling them.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A girl who's accepting of men's feelings, and doesn't make them
feel like a "wuss" for having those feelings.

HATE!!!:
-A girl who's open with her feelings by screaming them,
manipulating situations, and crying when she doesn't get what she
wants.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A girl who thinks of you as less of a man just for expressing your
emotions.  Don't want a woman who will nurture her man like a
little baby, but don't want one who makes him feel like he has to
be someone he isn't, either.

HOBBIES

LIKE:
-A woman who supports your interests.  She may not like them
personally (say, fantasy baseball, or sports in general), but
doesn't try to stop you from enjoying them and making them a part
of your life, either.  Generally open to the idea of doing
something you love.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A woman who shares her hobbies with you, but doesn't force them
down your throat, either.  If she likes ballet, asks you to come
with her to a show, but doesn't get upset if you don't enjoy it as
much as her.

DON'T LIKE, DON'T BOTHER WITH:
-A woman who not only hates your hobbies, but won't even consider
the idea of doing something you enjoy.  Even mentioning going to,
say, a football game, is an attempt in vain.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A woman who forces her hobbies down your throat.  Gets pissed off
when you don't enjoy something as much as her.

INTELLIGENCE

LIKE:
-Balance is crucial.  Guys don't want to feel like idiots in front
of their girl, but don't want to feel like they're WITH an idiot,
either.  Some women are really intelligent, others are not.  That's
fine.  What men want is a woman who makes them feel good about
THEIR intelligence, by having things to talk about, but not feeling
stupid in doing so.

THE SMART THING TO DO IS MOVE ON!:
-A woman who is very intelligent and feels she has to prove it
(which only goes to show her own weaknesses).  Breaks a man down to
size for not knowing as much as her.  JUST AS BAD, a woman who
makes no effort to learn about new things.  Open-mindedness, to
other opinions and to new ideas, is key.

SENSE OF ADVENTURE

LIKE:
-A woman in love with life, and its many possibilities.  Not afraid
to try new things out, even potentially embarrassing ones-read,
karaoke and dancing.

LOVE!:
-A woman who may not particularly enjoy embarrassing things such as
karaoke, but is willing to do them with you because she knows life
is too short.

CAN'T FRIGGIN' STAND!:
-A woman who's afraid to try anything new at all.  Content to stay
at home with her poodles and soap operas.

MONEY

LIKE:
-A woman who will at least offer to pay, especially if she makes a
decent wage.  Also, a woman who has a purposeful occupation.

I WANT A REFUND!:
-A woman who EXPECTS men to pay for her (and not just dinner!), and
refuses to spend a dime on meals and other expenses, even when she
can afford it-or worse, makes more than the man!
A woman who's not willing to work, when she can, is just as bad a
man who's too lazy to work.

LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS

LIKE:
-A woman who, despite wanting marriage, doesn't force it on a man.
She knows that good things come to those who wait, and if it's
meant to be, he'll bring it up himself.  Quality of man counts more
than quantity of engagement ring karats!

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN!:
-A woman so desperate for marriage that you can read it on her
face.  If he says he's not yet ready for a ring, she throws a
tantrum and says he doesn't love her-which is ironic, because
forcing him to commit is anything but love!

APPEARANCES AND DIET

LIKE:
-A woman who is content enough in her body to not whine about it
all the time (especially while not doing anything to solve the
problem), but motivated enough to go to a gym and genuinely try to
do something healthful about her body/diet.

NEXT!:
-A woman who pays absolutely no attention to her body and diet.
Men don't expect every women to have a super-model body, but we DO
expect them to care about their health-how they look, and how they
eat.

SEX

LIKE:
-A woman who is open to new things.  If she brings energy and
openness to the bedroom, her body type won't really matter.

DON'T WANNA GO NEAR:
-A woman who is afraid to try anything new, and who brings a
closed-minded, even disdainful approach to sex.  Makes a man feel
bad for enjoying sex.

TRAVEL

LIKE:
-For me personally, I love a girl who enjoys travelling.  But in
general, guys want a girl who enjoys travelling, but doesn't force
him to travel when he doesn't like it.  Encouraging him gently to
explore, however, is definitely a good quality.

ADIOS!:
-A girl who's NOT open to travel at all.  If she considers Canada a
distant land, something's wrong!  But on the flip side, a girl who
can't stay still without having to fly somewhere, and who makes you
feel guilty for not leaving with her, even when you have important
things to get done, is not any better.

TRUST

LIKE:
-A girl who's loyal!  Is that any surprise?  But also a girl who
gives you trust, when you've shown you're worthy of it (i.e.
clearly stand by her side, even when the going gets rough).

SAYONARA!:
-A girl who always thinks you're up to something, even when you're
not.  In general, a girl who puts no trust in you.  (Hey, I admit,
guys can be just as bad.)

ARGUMENTS

LIKE:
-A woman who is firm and doesn't fool around.  Not a bitch, but not
someone you can walk all over, either.  Has respect for herself-and
for you.

SHOOT ME NOW!:
-A woman who goes to the ends of the earth to prove her point.
Gets angry just for THINKING something different than her.
Generally unpleasant to be around, even with a minor squabble.
Hope you enjoyed this!  Remember, every man is different.  Some
will want more of a caring, motherly type; and some men just love
bitches (just check out Sheryl Argov's book, "Why Men Love
Bitches!").  But all in all, I'm of the opinion that everything in
life comes down to BALANCE, the shades of grey wedged between the
extremes of black and white.  The successful couples I know, are
well-balanced.  While either extreme may seem good on paper, it's
usually the woman who's average just like him, that the average guy
will go for.