The Letter 'L' Re-lation-ship

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Top 10 Signs He's Interested in You


There he is, the man of your dreams. He's sitting across from you at the coffee shop or standing at the opposite side of the bar. His eyes meet yours, a quick glance, and then it's back to his drink. Was he giving you a signal?

It's not easy to decipher the mind of the modern male, but learning to decode what his nonverbal communication truly means is an invaluable asset in the game of love. So in order to be sure you're reading him right, look out for the following 10 signs.

Leaning into Love: If a guy is interested in you, you'll find that his body will lean forward toward yours. This move can be either very subtle or extremely "in your face" (literally!). It's his way of letting you know he'd like to get even closer. Once his interest is piqued, you'll both find it hard to pull away!

Keeping It Even Closer: A vital aspect of the physical nature of romance is reciprocity. Translation: meeting his advances with your own. This not only signals your own interest, but also serves to keep his.

The Eyes Have It: We've all heard the proverb, "The eyes are the window to the soul." If he's interested in you, he'll focus on you with those piercing peepers and hold it. Return his romantic gaze with a quiet smile and let him know that you are interested. He'll be at your side in no time.

Touching Is a Good Thing: If a guy is interested in you, then he'll want to be near you. He'll also want to take every opportunity to touch you. Maybe it's your arm, your leg, your knee — it doesn't matter, as long as his presence is physical and affectionate. It's his way of letting you know he likes you.

Funny Meeting You Here: Coincidence is out. Serendipity is in. Those so-called "happy accidents" may not be so accidental after all. Perhaps his "surprise" appearance at your favorite Starbucks or hangout is a signal that he's trying to connect with you (but doesn't want you to think he's a stalker!). Take this as a positive sign and make the most of your next encounter. You may find that you share more in common than just an addiction to double lattes.

Listen Closely: How do you know that you have a guy's attention? When he's not talking about himself. It's that simple. The next time you're in a bar, listen closely to any table full of men and you will hear them speaking rapturously about their favorite subject: themselves. For a man to shut up and really listen to what you have to say, you know it must be love (or at least a strong attraction). He'll put that male genetic ADD to rest once and for all after he's found his Miss Right.

The Guy Who Liked Chick Flicks: Okay, we all know he'd much rather be watching the big game, but it's an important sign if he shows an interest in the things you like as well. If he's happy to watch a movie you picked out or doesn't complain when it's time to hit the mall for a little shopping trip, you've made a serious leap forward in the dating game! Give him extra points if he makes the popcorn.

Funny Lady: Can't tell a joke to save your life? Does he laugh at it anyway? Men are very in touch with their sense of humor (women often complain that men never take anything seriously, right?), so if he's sending some hearty laughter your way, it's a good bet he's looking at you as relationship material.

Confidence, Man: If a guy's into you, you make him nervous. He'll get goose bumps or a rapidly beating heart just from being around you. Look for signs like unexplained laughter, sweaty palms and fidgeting. Guys always want to be in control of their emotions — we like to be in charge. If he has trouble doing that around you, it's most likely because you make him nervous and excited. Don't take it for granted; help him to relax, and he'll thank you by being a great guy you can depend on.

The Feeling Is Mutual: Men and women have very different brain chemistries: She is verbal; he is not. He is driven by visual desires, while she is guided by her deep emotions. Women are taught to rationally express their feelings and feel no shame in crying, and men punch things. Therefore, if you get a guy to actually open up and express his emotions, consider it a major achievement in your relationship. Discussing your feelings for each other is a powerful bonding experience for the two of you and serves to strengthen a relationship for whatever challenges the future may bring.



Extracted from iVillage

The 12 Types of Women Guys Want to Date

There are a lot of good women out there, even though it's not always easy to find them. Here's a list of women with traits you should actively look for — and that would make any guy happy:

Miss Sweet

Miss Sweet is a woman who's positive, content with her life, always upbeat — and just a blast to be around. She's a genuine person without a bitch bone in her body. She's always truly happy to see you and you find yourself looking forward to spending time with her. Miss Sweets are usually snapped up out of the dating market right away, so they're pretty rare. But if you can find one, you've got a real treasure on your hands.

Miss Equality

This type of woman is a true feminist — not one of the radical man-haters, or the hypocritical pseudo-feminists who think that equality means "I demand equal rights and an equal salary, but a man still has to pay for me." The Miss Equalitys of the world genuinely like men, and understand that equality means equality across the board, from holding the door open to fighting on the front lines. They believe that a relationship should be a 50/50 partnership, and are more than willing to shoulder their half of the responsibilities and dating expenses — just because it's the right thing to do.

Miss Sexual

You should be so lucky to encounter one of these! Miss Sexual loves men and loves sex — and makes no bones about it. She's not selling it, she's not using it as a tool to manipulate men — she just naturally craves it. Miss Sexual is not to be confused with a nymphomaniac, who suffers from psychological problems — rather, she has somehow bypassed the female societal training of auctioning off the use of her vagina to the highest bidder. For this reason, most other women hate her, because she's giving it away free of charge. But men love her because she's a free spirit who's actually honest about her sex drive. Very rare, but worth searching the ends of the earth for.

Miss Best Friend

Closely aligned with Miss Sweet, Miss Best Friend is another joy to be around. She's the kind of woman you're totally in sync with — you like the same things, watch the same TV shows, enjoy going to the same places. You can spend five minutes with her and think you've known her for years. She's always on your side, laughs at all your jokes and calls you just to say "hi" because she genuinely misses you. She's great just to hang with. A word of warning, though — with Miss Best Friend, you have to make your sexual interest known from day one because if she gets it into her head that you are going to be "just friends," it's almost impossible to change her mind.

Miss Straightforward

This is the type of woman who knows how to communicate. With Miss Straightforward, there are no games, no expecting men to be mind readers, no behavior based on ridiculous, female-biased advice from articles in Cosmo or The Rules. Miss Straightforward will pick up the phone and ask you out. She will do what she says she will do — not say one thing and do just the opposite. Although she may be blunt at times, at least you'll know where you stand and you'll never have to spend hours trying to decode contradictory or emotion-based female behavior.

Miss Independent

This is a good woman to find if you don't have a lot of time to invest in a relationship or you're the type of guy who needs a lot of space. Miss Independent has a real life of her own and is happily going in her own positive direction. She's the type who wants a man in her life, but doesn't need a man in her life. And she certainly isn't looking for men to solve all her problems or blame when things don't go her way.

Miss No Pressure

While many women are chomping at the bit to get married, Miss No Pressure hasn't fallen prey to any such agenda. She's happy just to be with you. So you don't get any "Where is our relationship going?" or hint-dropping about the future or window-shopping at the jewelry store. She may want to get married at some point, but she's in no hurry — she thinks that if it happens, it will just happen naturally.

Miss Secure

Miss Secure accepts herself as she is and is comfortable with her good points, as well as her bad. And she feels the same about you. Miss Secure doesn't need constant attention to shore up a sagging ego, has tons of self-esteem and is always going in her own positive direction.

Miss Personality

Miss Personality is a great find. She might not be up for first prize in a beauty contest (although she could be), but her intelligence, wit and sparkling presence just light up the room, and she draws people like a magnet. Her personality is so charming that it easily overcomes any deficiencies she might have in the looks department, just because she's so great to be with.

Miss Low-Maintenance

The rarest of the rare, Miss Low-Maintenance is the most atypical of modern women. She really doesn't care about how much money you have — she just likes you for yourself and not for what she can take from you. She's likely to be a true feminist, and will gladly pay her share of the dating expenses. If you can find a Miss Low-Maintenance, hang on to her for dear life!

Miss Right for You

A lot of guys choose women who are "arm candy" — good-looking trophy girlfriends who bolster their status among other men or counteract their own insecurities. That's all well and good, but if you find a woman who makes you happy, regardless of looks, age or social status — or what any other guy thinks — then you have definitely won at the mating game.


Extracted from iVillage

10 Things That Make Men Happy

If men and women are truly equal, then men must stop bending over backwards in the pursuit of making women happy, right men? Relationships are increasingly full-fledged partnerships after all, so why should we be the only ones trying to make women happy?

We want to be happy and boys just want to have fun as well, so here are 10 things that men look for in the pursuit of happiness and Ms. Perfect. Read the list and answer the question that all men deliberate: do we prefer a pretty face or a beautiful body?

10. Charm

Remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry went out with that stunning blonde babe who got him out of every bad situation (speeding ticket, etc.)? Well, maybe this occurred because she was a babe, but I think she had such power because she was charming. If a woman can make you smile, then she has the charm to get out of any situation and will prove to become quite an ally.

Charm is what draws men to those women who are not as good-looking as the others in our black book. Charm is what pulls us back to women even after they burn us. Charm is the one thing that lets women get away with murder ‑- okay, charm and the next thing on the list.

9. A statuesque body

We may not admit this to them, but when we're walking down the street with our women, we want to show them off. Show off what? Their crazy curves and full figure.

As Doc Love puts it: you need to pass a physical to be the best you can be (i.e. join the army), and Lord knows that women make us pass their own physical exams, so why should we be any different or make any excuse about it?

8. A beautiful face

This one will stand the test of time. A pretty face can get away with murder. While this should not be the top characteristic, it is helpful to admit that you must find a woman who will please your eyes and excite your everything else.

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, unless of course you are a magician named David. So do not choose someone based on what your friends say, go with whom you want to wake up with. We like beautiful things and we shall make no apologies for this.

7. Honesty & trust

When the games are played, final rounds called and booty calls over, we want someone we can confide in. The most successful relationships are built upon trust, candor and honesty; anything else is equivalent to building a house on quicksand. Sadly, you only know who is swimming naked when the tide goes down, so be honest with your woman (but do not tell her anything she neither needs or cares to know) if you want her to be honest with you.

Receiving a pat on the back when we do things right is nice, but it's even nicer to be told when we're wrong, provided of course that we are not made to feel like crap, which takes us to the next point...

6. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The last thing we want is a woman who lets us down, embarrasses us and makes us out to be fools, especially in public. Gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with admitting that we are excessively proud and sensitive to criticism, but if done right, constructive criticism from the one person who knows us best can only make us better men, fathers, lovers, brothers and human beings.

Why do I say this? Next time your woman tells you something, do not cut her off and put her in her place; listen, pay attention and remember: actions, not words, are what matter. True, we may not have Tammy Wynette standing by us in a state of oblivion, but respect in a partnership is about praise as well criticism, not shutting up and telling it like it is. It helps when it is done with humor (well, not at our expense).

5. Sense of humor


This will forever remain a priority for any man. We work hard, we put up with a lot, and we need a woman who will put a smile on our faces when things are gloomy, and make us laugh when things are down. Now guys, I have been curious as to whether we like it when women make us laugh or when we make them laugh. Being able to make them laugh is good for our egos, but getting a smile on our faces is the best tonic possible.

Women always rank a sense of humor as the trait they like most in us. A woman who finds it challenging to smile and be pleasant will be a thorn in your side until the day you die, and trust me, your judgment day will come before hers.

4. Intelligence & confidence

Previous generations probably preferred a smart woman ‑- not just book smart, but also street smart. But truth be told ‑- and this will not please feminists (but then again, who cares?) ‑- many men did not want an overly smart woman, after all, it would be too hard to tame and control her. After all, men feared that women could become unstable and make demands (oh no...)

Today, I like to think that we have matured a bit and now see the value in having a valuable ally as a partner. If a housewife, mother and maid is all that you are looking for, you are selling yourself short men, so go out and find someone who will learn from you as much as you will learn from her; imagine the powerhouse couple that you will make.

3. Ambition & drive

If a partner is what you seek, then you will have to find a woman who will challenge your thoughts, stir up your emotions positively and give you a run for your money. Challenges start at home and end on fields, boardrooms and life, so make sure that you meet your match, because practice does make you perfect.

A woman that is too strong-willed will also be too stubborn, and this is just plain frustrating, but one that chooses her battles diplomatically will prove to come out a winner in the game of life. Would you not want her on your team?

2. Heart of gold

Most women are selfish on good days and plain malicious on bad ones, so why any man would let himself get tempted (well, we know why) by someone who has bad intentions beats me. So many men e-mail us, telling us how badly they are being treated, yet they are helpless in doing something about it, and worse, they keep going back... why guys, why?

If you are looking to get involved for the long haul, a kind woman with a heart of gold will nurture you and offer the compassion, sincerity, warmth, and affection you need to make it to the top. Just make sure you are able to reciprocate the kindness, because someone ultimately will and then she'll run for the hills.

1. Love

Although there are different things that make us happy ‑- some of them may not have been on the list but should have been, while others are but should not have been ‑- when all is said and done and the ink has dried up, the first dates turn into the honeymoon stage, and the relationship develops, all men really want is love.



Extracted from iVillage