什么样的男生真的爱你

1. 真正爱你的男生，一下子说不出真正爱你的理由，只知道自己顾不上注意别人。
2. 真正爱你的男生，其实总惹你生气，你却发觉不了他到底做错了什么。 　
3. 真正爱你的男生，很少当面赞美你，可是心里肯定你是他最棒的。 　
4. 真正爱你的男生，会在你忘记回复他短信时狠狠地说你一顿。
5. 真正爱你的男生，只可能在你一个人的面前流眼泪，当你触摸到他时，也触摸到了那颗只为你跳动的心。 　　
6. 真正爱你的男生，会默默地记住你不经意说过的话，在某时某刻重复它们。 　　
7. 真正爱你的男生，不会轻易做出承诺，因为他想让自己成为你心中说话最算话的男子汉，只想给你最可靠最安全的幸福。 　　
8. 真正爱你的男生，总告诉你不要胡思乱想，因为其实他在为你们谋划着最美丽真实的未来。同时让你无忧无虑地等待他要给你的惊喜。 　　
9. 真正爱你的男生，可能不像你一样清楚地记得某些纪念日，他觉得爱你是每时每刻的，并不是靠这几天简单的日子。 　　
10. 真正爱你的男生，不会轻易对你当面说“我爱你”，因为他为你做过的每件事都已经这么说了。除非在非常时刻，为了不让你无端地误解他。 　　
11. 真正爱你的男生，总觉得有些话只说一遍就够了，因为你已经了解他的心。说得多了，他会觉得不珍贵。 　　
12. 真正爱你的男生，如果他去机场接你，不会像你期望的那样捧着玫瑰大声叫“亲爱的”，只是自然地提过你的行李，然后想用眼睛抱紧你似的心疼地说，怎么瘦得像豆芽菜了？ 　　
13. 真正爱你的男生，当你发脾气时，只会不做声地听你把火发完，然后慢慢地说，你明天有课吗？早点睡吧。 　　
14. 真正爱你的男生，不懂当你生气挂掉电话后应该立即打来，过了若干小时后会发条短信问你消气了没有？如果你质问他为何这么久才打来，他会理直气壮的说，你生气时我的解释一定没有用，等你的火消了，我的解释才有效果。 　　
15. 真正爱你的男生，总是叫你小姑娘，可是每次他做什么重大的决定，却总想先听听你的建议。 　　
16. 真正爱你的男生，不喜欢玩具小毛熊，却一直把你送他的小熊放在床头。 　　
17. 真正爱你的男生，当和你发生争执时，总是控制不了地先妥协，先承认“我错了”，过后发来短信以“神经病”开头，以“宝贝”结尾。事实上你也清楚，这次是你有点无理取闹。 　　
18. 真正爱你的男生，很想很想你时，也会买玫瑰送你，傻傻地等着你，却不知道自己捧的是月季。没关系，他的心里送的是玫瑰。 　　
19. 真正爱你的男生，嘴巴都不甜，但是他的吻能传递他所有的热情。 　　
20. 真正爱你的男生，当听到你对他讲很“酸”的话时，他反而会装得很正经，其实心里很甜很甜。 　
21. 真正爱你的男生，如果不能经常见到你，他会让自己忙碌起来，为了不去想你，因为他知道一想你将会一发不可收拾。
    
    
    作者: fyhail

Top 10 Signs He's Interested in You

by Matt Titus

There he is, the man of your dreams. He's sitting across from you at the coffee shop or standing at the opposite side of the bar. His eyes meet yours, a quick glance, and then it's back to his drink. Was he giving you a signal?

It's not easy to decipher the mind of the modern male, but learning to decode what his nonverbal communication truly means is an invaluable asset in the game of love. So in order to be sure you're reading him right, look out for the following 10 signs.

Leaning into Love: If a guy is interested in you, you'll find that his body will lean forward toward yours. This move can be either very subtle or extremely "in your face" (literally!). It's his way of letting you know he'd like to get even closer. Once his interest is piqued, you'll both find it hard to pull away!

Keeping It Even Closer: A vital aspect of the physical nature of romance is reciprocity. Translation: meeting his advances with your own. This not only signals your own interest, but also serves to keep his.

The Eyes Have It: We've all heard the proverb, "The eyes are the window to the soul." If he's interested in you, he'll focus on you with those piercing peepers and hold it. Return his romantic gaze with a quiet smile and let him know that you are interested. He'll be at your side in no time.

Touching Is a Good Thing: If a guy is interested in you, then he'll want to be near you. He'll also want to take every opportunity to touch you. Maybe it's your arm, your leg, your knee — it doesn't matter, as long as his presence is physical and affectionate. It's his way of letting you know he likes you.

Funny Meeting You Here: Coincidence is out. Serendipity is in. Those so-called "happy accidents" may not be so accidental after all. Perhaps his "surprise" appearance at your favorite Starbucks or hangout is a signal that he's trying to connect with you (but doesn't want you to think he's a stalker!). Take this as a positive sign and make the most of your next encounter. You may find that you share more in common than just an addiction to double lattes.

Listen Closely: How do you know that you have a guy's attention? When he's not talking about himself. It's that simple. The next time you're in a bar, listen closely to any table full of men and you will hear them speaking rapturously about their favorite subject: themselves. For a man to shut up and really listen to what you have to say, you know it must be love (or at least a strong attraction). He'll put that male genetic ADD to rest once and for all after he's found his Miss Right.

The Guy Who Liked Chick Flicks: Okay, we all know he'd much rather be watching the big game, but it's an important sign if he shows an interest in the things you like as well. If he's happy to watch a movie you picked out or doesn't complain when it's time to hit the mall for a little shopping trip, you've made a serious leap forward in the dating game! Give him extra points if he makes the popcorn.

Funny Lady: Can't tell a joke to save your life? Does he laugh at it anyway? Men are very in touch with their sense of humor (women often complain that men never take anything seriously, right?), so if he's sending some hearty laughter your way, it's a good bet he's looking at you as relationship material.

Confidence, Man: If a guy's into you, you make him nervous. He'll get goose bumps or a rapidly beating heart just from being around you. Look for signs like unexplained laughter, sweaty palms and fidgeting. Guys always want to be in control of their emotions — we like to be in charge. If he has trouble doing that around you, it's most likely because you make him nervous and excited. Don't take it for granted; help him to relax, and he'll thank you by being a great guy you can depend on.

The Feeling Is Mutual: Men and women have very different brain chemistries: She is verbal; he is not. He is driven by visual desires, while she is guided by her deep emotions. Women are taught to rationally express their feelings and feel no shame in crying, and men punch things. Therefore, if you get a guy to actually open up and express his emotions, consider it a major achievement in your relationship. Discussing your feelings for each other is a powerful bonding experience for the two of you and serves to strengthen a relationship for whatever challenges the future may bring.



Extracted from iVillage

The 12 Types of Women Guys Want to Date

There are a lot of good women out there, even though it's not always easy to find them. Here's a list of women with traits you should actively look for — and that would make any guy happy:

Miss Sweet

Miss Sweet is a woman who's positive, content with her life, always upbeat — and just a blast to be around. She's a genuine person without a bitch bone in her body. She's always truly happy to see you and you find yourself looking forward to spending time with her. Miss Sweets are usually snapped up out of the dating market right away, so they're pretty rare. But if you can find one, you've got a real treasure on your hands.

Miss Equality

This type of woman is a true feminist — not one of the radical man-haters, or the hypocritical pseudo-feminists who think that equality means "I demand equal rights and an equal salary, but a man still has to pay for me." The Miss Equalitys of the world genuinely like men, and understand that equality means equality across the board, from holding the door open to fighting on the front lines. They believe that a relationship should be a 50/50 partnership, and are more than willing to shoulder their half of the responsibilities and dating expenses — just because it's the right thing to do.

Miss Sexual

You should be so lucky to encounter one of these! Miss Sexual loves men and loves sex — and makes no bones about it. She's not selling it, she's not using it as a tool to manipulate men — she just naturally craves it. Miss Sexual is not to be confused with a nymphomaniac, who suffers from psychological problems — rather, she has somehow bypassed the female societal training of auctioning off the use of her vagina to the highest bidder. For this reason, most other women hate her, because she's giving it away free of charge. But men love her because she's a free spirit who's actually honest about her sex drive. Very rare, but worth searching the ends of the earth for.

Miss Best Friend

Closely aligned with Miss Sweet, Miss Best Friend is another joy to be around. She's the kind of woman you're totally in sync with — you like the same things, watch the same TV shows, enjoy going to the same places. You can spend five minutes with her and think you've known her for years. She's always on your side, laughs at all your jokes and calls you just to say "hi" because she genuinely misses you. She's great just to hang with. A word of warning, though — with Miss Best Friend, you have to make your sexual interest known from day one because if she gets it into her head that you are going to be "just friends," it's almost impossible to change her mind.

Miss Straightforward

This is the type of woman who knows how to communicate. With Miss Straightforward, there are no games, no expecting men to be mind readers, no behavior based on ridiculous, female-biased advice from articles in Cosmo or The Rules. Miss Straightforward will pick up the phone and ask you out. She will do what she says she will do — not say one thing and do just the opposite. Although she may be blunt at times, at least you'll know where you stand and you'll never have to spend hours trying to decode contradictory or emotion-based female behavior.

Miss Independent

This is a good woman to find if you don't have a lot of time to invest in a relationship or you're the type of guy who needs a lot of space. Miss Independent has a real life of her own and is happily going in her own positive direction. She's the type who wants a man in her life, but doesn't need a man in her life. And she certainly isn't looking for men to solve all her problems or blame when things don't go her way.

Miss No Pressure

While many women are chomping at the bit to get married, Miss No Pressure hasn't fallen prey to any such agenda. She's happy just to be with you. So you don't get any "Where is our relationship going?" or hint-dropping about the future or window-shopping at the jewelry store. She may want to get married at some point, but she's in no hurry — she thinks that if it happens, it will just happen naturally.

Miss Secure

Miss Secure accepts herself as she is and is comfortable with her good points, as well as her bad. And she feels the same about you. Miss Secure doesn't need constant attention to shore up a sagging ego, has tons of self-esteem and is always going in her own positive direction.

Miss Personality

Miss Personality is a great find. She might not be up for first prize in a beauty contest (although she could be), but her intelligence, wit and sparkling presence just light up the room, and she draws people like a magnet. Her personality is so charming that it easily overcomes any deficiencies she might have in the looks department, just because she's so great to be with.

Miss Low-Maintenance

The rarest of the rare, Miss Low-Maintenance is the most atypical of modern women. She really doesn't care about how much money you have — she just likes you for yourself and not for what she can take from you. She's likely to be a true feminist, and will gladly pay her share of the dating expenses. If you can find a Miss Low-Maintenance, hang on to her for dear life!

Miss Right for You

A lot of guys choose women who are "arm candy" — good-looking trophy girlfriends who bolster their status among other men or counteract their own insecurities. That's all well and good, but if you find a woman who makes you happy, regardless of looks, age or social status — or what any other guy thinks — then you have definitely won at the mating game.

Extracted from iVillage

10 Things That Make Men Happy

If men and women are truly equal, then men must stop bending over backwards in the pursuit of making women happy, right men? Relationships are increasingly full-fledged partnerships after all, so why should we be the only ones trying to make women happy?

We want to be happy and boys just want to have fun as well, so here are 10 things that men look for in the pursuit of happiness and Ms. Perfect. Read the list and answer the question that all men deliberate: do we prefer a pretty face or a beautiful body?

10. Charm

Remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry went out with that stunning blonde babe who got him out of every bad situation (speeding ticket, etc.)? Well, maybe this occurred because she was a babe, but I think she had such power because she was charming. If a woman can make you smile, then she has the charm to get out of any situation and will prove to become quite an ally.

Charm is what draws men to those women who are not as good-looking as the others in our black book. Charm is what pulls us back to women even after they burn us. Charm is the one thing that lets women get away with murder ‑- okay, charm and the next thing on the list.

9. A statuesque body

We may not admit this to them, but when we're walking down the street with our women, we want to show them off. Show off what? Their crazy curves and full figure.

As Doc Love puts it: you need to pass a physical to be the best you can be (i.e. join the army), and Lord knows that women make us pass their own physical exams, so why should we be any different or make any excuse about it?

8. A beautiful face

This one will stand the test of time. A pretty face can get away with murder. While this should not be the top characteristic, it is helpful to admit that you must find a woman who will please your eyes and excite your everything else.

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, unless of course you are a magician named David. So do not choose someone based on what your friends say, go with whom you want to wake up with. We like beautiful things and we shall make no apologies for this.

7. Honesty & trust

When the games are played, final rounds called and booty calls over, we want someone we can confide in. The most successful relationships are built upon trust, candor and honesty; anything else is equivalent to building a house on quicksand. Sadly, you only know who is swimming naked when the tide goes down, so be honest with your woman (but do not tell her anything she neither needs or cares to know) if you want her to be honest with you.

Receiving a pat on the back when we do things right is nice, but it's even nicer to be told when we're wrong, provided of course that we are not made to feel like crap, which takes us to the next point...

6. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The last thing we want is a woman who lets us down, embarrasses us and makes us out to be fools, especially in public. Gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with admitting that we are excessively proud and sensitive to criticism, but if done right, constructive criticism from the one person who knows us best can only make us better men, fathers, lovers, brothers and human beings.

Why do I say this? Next time your woman tells you something, do not cut her off and put her in her place; listen, pay attention and remember: actions, not words, are what matter. True, we may not have Tammy Wynette standing by us in a state of oblivion, but respect in a partnership is about praise as well criticism, not shutting up and telling it like it is. It helps when it is done with humor (well, not at our expense).

5. Sense of humor

This will forever remain a priority for any man. We work hard, we put up with a lot, and we need a woman who will put a smile on our faces when things are gloomy, and make us laugh when things are down. Now guys, I have been curious as to whether we like it when women make us laugh or when we make them laugh. Being able to make them laugh is good for our egos, but getting a smile on our faces is the best tonic possible.

Women always rank a sense of humor as the trait they like most in us. A woman who finds it challenging to smile and be pleasant will be a thorn in your side until the day you die, and trust me, your judgment day will come before hers.

4. Intelligence & confidence

Previous generations probably preferred a smart woman ‑- not just book smart, but also street smart. But truth be told ‑- and this will not please feminists (but then again, who cares?) ‑- many men did not want an overly smart woman, after all, it would be too hard to tame and control her. After all, men feared that women could become unstable and make demands (oh no...)

Today, I like to think that we have matured a bit and now see the value in having a valuable ally as a partner. If a housewife, mother and maid is all that you are looking for, you are selling yourself short men, so go out and find someone who will learn from you as much as you will learn from her; imagine the powerhouse couple that you will make.

3. Ambition & drive

If a partner is what you seek, then you will have to find a woman who will challenge your thoughts, stir up your emotions positively and give you a run for your money. Challenges start at home and end on fields, boardrooms and life, so make sure that you meet your match, because practice does make you perfect.

A woman that is too strong-willed will also be too stubborn, and this is just plain frustrating, but one that chooses her battles diplomatically will prove to come out a winner in the game of life. Would you not want her on your team?

2. Heart of gold

Most women are selfish on good days and plain malicious on bad ones, so why any man would let himself get tempted (well, we know why) by someone who has bad intentions beats me. So many men e-mail us, telling us how badly they are being treated, yet they are helpless in doing something about it, and worse, they keep going back... why guys, why?

If you are looking to get involved for the long haul, a kind woman with a heart of gold will nurture you and offer the compassion, sincerity, warmth, and affection you need to make it to the top. Just make sure you are able to reciprocate the kindness, because someone ultimately will and then she'll run for the hills.

1. Love

Although there are different things that make us happy ‑- some of them may not have been on the list but should have been, while others are but should not have been ‑- when all is said and done and the ink has dried up, the first dates turn into the honeymoon stage, and the relationship develops, all men really want is love.

Extracted from iVillage

Check out this handy list of flirting Dos and Don'ts

1. Get into the Mood

The most important component of successful flirtation is being in the right mood for flirting. Good flirts are playful and don't take themselves too seriously - look at James Bond for instance. You need to see people not as something to be 'dealt with' - try and see them as a gateway to new exciting, adventures.

2. It's not about Scoring

If your main focus is concentrated on what you want, it will show and you'll come across as desperate. Instead of worrying whether you're making a good impression, focus on what you can give. Ask yourself how you can make other people feel good... The short answer here is to make the other person feel like you're interested in what they have to say. So listen, remember what's been said and ask open ended questions.

3. No one likes a Phoney

Sigmund Freud, whether you agree with him or not, had a few cool things to say. One of them was "We leak the truth from every pore." Phoneys get discovered sooner or later. If you pretend to be that which you are not, you will very quickly find yourself with less friends, less connections and less opportunities to meet someone who is right for you. Of course, remember how important it is to show yourself in a good light.

4. Don't Give Up

"If you don't shoot you won't score, if you do shoot, you may score, if you never shoot you will never score". People often give up when they don't get immediate results. Monitor what works and what doesn't work. If you aren't getting the results you want, ask yourself what you could do differently that would allow you to get what you want. Think of everything that you've tried that doesn't work as 'school fees'. At least you can learn from your mistakes!

5. Practice makes Perfect

Some women send out signals of overt sexual flirting when all they want is to be friendly. Others send out overtly sexual signals because they want attention. And they will get it. Unfortunately, some of the attention will be unwanted. Practise with your close friends asking them to give you honest feedback. Practise in the mirror. When you begin to understand the effect of what you do, you will be in a position to make change...

6. The Dreaded Pick Up Lines

'Aren't your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all night...'. Many women will have heard some of these terrible pick-up clichés before. It won't do you any favours guys. There is no such thing as a ready to wear line. Each 'line' should be a genuine sentiment of what happening at the moment. Sometimes the simplest opening gambits are the best. Sometimes by paying attention to the person you want to flirt with and noticing their good points, you will come up with a natural and successful line.

7. Look Approachable

When you go out with a group of friends, be sure to separate yourself from them occasionally. The thought of being turned down in front of a crowd might scare off potential suitors. Make sure you look friendly. Sitting like an ice queen/king will not attract people to you. The big freeze is no one's idea of a turn on. You may unconsciously be giving out 'no no' signals when secretly you are lusting for someone to approach you. Check what you are giving off and if it's not getting results you want, adjust it. Ask friends to give you feedback.

8. Everyone gets Rejected, even Kylie Minogue!

Sometimes things don't work out for whatever reason. What you take to heart is up to you. The reality is that everyone has experienced rejection in one area of their life - look at the Minogue sisters! Don't dwell on rejection - it just ends up as baggage that you don't need. The only baggage you need is Louis Vuitton. Learn to put things in perspective. Look out for compliments, take them in and shrug off rejection.

9. First Moves

95% of men say they would love women to approach them. Making the first move doesn't have to become a habit, and it doesn't have to be a 'Sex and the City' type of approach! It's just an alternative way of doing things. Variety is the spice of life eh? From time to time you can enjoyably make the first move. If you see someone across a room that 'does something for you', make up your mind to connect with that person. Follow your instincts.

10. Say 'no' graciously

If you are going to turn someone down, do so graciously. See it as a form of compliment to be asked, even if the man or woman is not your type. If you reject someone viciously or unkindly, other men may notice and you can be sure they will be very wary of approaching the "Medusa's den".

11. Are you a Space Invader?

You've probably encountered those people who get that little bit too close for comfort. No matter how you wriggle, they continue to loom 'in your face'. Be aware of how others react to you. Test space using gentle moves and calibrate their reactions. Watch the mouth, the eyes, the skin colour. Mouths get larger, lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes, changes colour, muscles around the mouth move and vice versa. Become a detective of other people's signals.

The Fine Art of Flirting - The Dating Survival Guide

Why do some girls attract all the guys? Because they are power flirts. You can master this fine art — no cosmetic surgery required. You just need to let your body do the talking. Babe Scott reveals how to turn up the volume on your inner flirt.

Every time my friend Jenny enters a room, men get social whiplash. She is not breathtakingly beautiful; she is no Rhodes scholar and she hasn't won Lotto. But Jenny never leaves a party without being caught in a social scrum by all the single men. What is the secret behind her mesmerising effect on males? She is simply one of the world’s best flirts.

I'm sure you know someone like Jenny. It seems unfair but these women appear to operate a dating cartel. Fact is, they don't have a monopoly on power flirting. We can all do it. We just need to learn the secrets behind their 100-watt smiles.

To some women, flirting comes naturally and for others, we must coax our latent talents to life. The good news? The ability to flirt is innate. It is about confidence and being able to sensually inhabit your body. The other key is understanding body language.

Women are always worrying about what they say but in fact it's our bodies that do most of the talking. Communication is 60 per cent non-verbal and only 40 per cent verbal. More than this, only a quarter of the verbal proportion is accomplished by the words themselves. The rest is all about how you say it.

So watch what your body is saying. Researchers say you can heighten your powers of attraction by about 70 per cent if you can improve your body talk.

Love your body

Learn to love your body and this will be reflected in your body talk. A lot of women walk around apologising for themselves, subconsciously using 'concealment gestures' to obscure the parts of their bodies they don't like with their hands or arms. But that only makes these body parts more intriguing to others and makes her seem under-confident.

Watch yourself and see if you are covering parts of yourself when you move. Are you fidgeting? Tugging at your hemline? Constantly rearranging your attire or jiggling your feet? Then don't. Start re-learning how to move. Use open gestures when you walk, don't set up physical barriers and don't cover up. Most importantly, look enthusiastic and animated. Animated people are attractive. And smile. A smile is your passport to popularity. It invites the world in and makes you more accessible and chat-up-able. Coach yourself to love your body and instead of trying to cover up the parts you are less happy with, flaunt the parts that you like.

That ring of confidence

Confidence is probably the most attractive of all traits. It is the essence of charisma. Give yourself a pep talk before you go out and tell yourself you are fabulous. If you believe it, it will be true. When you walk into a room, pull yourself up to your full height and walk tall. Slumped posture is not very sensuous. A sensuous walk is a precious asset. It is an art in itself. Marilyn Monroe said that people often ignored her in the street until she put on 'the walk'.
Aha! So it wasn't the bottle-blonde hair or the hourglass bod but
the walk. Hey, that's easy!

Make sure you don't move in packs. Men will not approach women in a gaggle: it's too intimidating. If you go out with friends, separate yourself as soon as you can and start circulating. You are there to meet new people, not just to talk to people you already know.

When you go to a soirée, go simply to have a good time not just to add more beaus to your string. Be curious about everybody, other women included. After all, they may have sexy brothers, male friends, foxy colleagues, maybe even a perfectly nice ex. You could be his Cinderella. So embrace the sisterhood when you get the chance. Make it your mission to meet at least one person who will make you glad you didn't stay home with a bottle of wine.

Take the focus off what other people think of you and onto having a good time. Make yourself the only person you have to please: it will help you exude confidence and make you genuinely interesting. If you need a little help in the confidence department, fake it till you make it. Find a role model you can emulate. Imagine how that person would act, feel and move. Think of what qualities make her attractive and how she expresses these physically when she moves and talks. Watch videos of fabulous filmstar flirts and examine their style. See how they revel in being a woman. You will eventually develop your own inimitable style.

Eye Contact

Everybody knows that the eyes are the windows to the loins. The mating dance all starts with a glance. So catch someone's eye and hold their gaze half a second longer than normal: one second in total. Then look away, look coy and then look again, this time with a more meaningful glance and a slight smile.

The glance dance can go on for some time. Avoid pointing out to your friends that you've made a connection. They'll just turn and stare. Simply work on your posture, pull in your tummy and arch your back slightly. And while you're looking them in the eye, hit them with a smile — it's one of your main passports to social success. Wear a smile at all times and if someone doesn't have one, give them one of yours. A soft smile will do. It doesn't have to be a toothy grin. If you are not interested in someone who flashes you a glance, merely turn away from them and don't look back. It should be obvious that you are not open to their advances without being rude.

Non-verbal signals

There are other body language signals to let him know he has the green light to approach you. A woman may arch her neck and show her throat briefly. She may also make preening gestures, like stroking her hair or laughing at something a friend is saying. A woman will change her posture so it is more flattering, thrusting her breasts out and pulling in her waist. She might also turn to face the object of her desire. She will hold her drink at waist level so she is reating no barriers — but not so low it looks like she's begging for coins. She might caress her glass with the tip of her finger or rub it gently around the rim, lick her lips or touch her mouth momentarily.

So start amping up your own signals. The best way is to think sensuous thoughts and the moves will come naturally. Most importantly, emanate a look of vitality. Appear energetic, luminous even. Imagine you have just had an amazing romp and have a sexy glow about you. Don't look static or planted. Be mobile in your expressions and your movements. When you think you have him on the hook, move slightly away from your group to make it easier for him to approach you. Or start circulating: anything to give him an opportunity to intercept you.

Close encounters

So what happens when he sidles over? If you get nervous, imagine he is an old friend you haven't seen for ages and try to chat to him as comfortably. Relax yourself and this will set him at ease. The most underrated flirting skill is simply listening. Men love talking about themselves. They like being the centre of attention. Ask open-ended questions. That is, questions that can't be answered by a yes or no answer.

If he volunteers something, you volunteer something. But don't reveal too much at once. The other key is not to moan. Having a good time is infectious. Focus on positive things and keep the conversation fun, light and frothy. Lower your chin, look him in the eyes and nod as he speaks. Smile and make sure you find something to giggle at every now and then (unless he's talking about his recent root canal in which case I suggest you depart the conversation entirely for he is clearly a social cripple). Make him feel like the most interesting and amusing man alive.

The other technique is to mirror his actions. By slightly copying the man's body language and style of behaviour he will feel you are in synch with him. Pull yourself up to your full height and lean slightly forward. Put your best assets forward and turn your body to face his more directly. If you are standing, make sure one foot is pointing towards him. If you are sitting, cross your legs towards him. Keep physical barriers to a minimum; don't cross your arms like a fortress.

If you want to bring out the big guns, try arching your neck when he pays you a compliment or says something funny. This allows you to bare your throat at him. Touch your neck lightly. Any man who isn't affected by this gesture hasn't got a pulse.

Practice makes perfect

Wherever you go – to the deli, corner store, local café or on your walk, practice your flirting style. It doesn't have to be high voltage or serious, just friendly. Say 'hi' or 'gorgeous day' and smile. Feel good about yourself and send out a tiny volt of electricity. You will notice people responding to you more. And at the very least, your coffee just got a whole lot hotter. Flirting is a great social lubricant, whether at work or at play. This ancient art can make life easier and more fun. Go on: get out there and flaunt it!

Body Language Signals

• SIGNS SHE IS INTERESTED
• Sidelong glances
• Looks at him a few times
• Holds his gaze briefly
• She has downcast eyes, then she looks away
• Touches her neck or hair
• Touches her lips
• Turns body towards him
• Tilts her head
• Narrows her eyes slightly into an eye smile
• Flashes her palm
• Smiles

SIGNS HE IS INTERESTED
• Looks at you
• Moves his body to face you
• Posture changes to alert
• Adjusts his tie
• Puts his hand in his pocket
• Dangles his hand from his belt
• Slight movement of the pelvis backward
• Leans towards you
• Smiles
• Adopts an open body posture

These tips are courtesy of Peta Heskell at The Attraction Acadamy

extracted from: http://www.fusion101.com/guide/forthegirlz.htm

for the girlz! - how to get on with him!
© 2005 - Boyfriend advice for girls - Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat

As a woman, the greatest thing outside salvation in Christ you could have is a husband that respects and cares for you. Through him you will experience how giving is more fulfilling than receiving. He will comfort you when you're not feeling your best and his strengths will cause you to be radiant! Because he has qualities you need, trust and respect him and by doing this he will feel valuable. When a man feels trusted he'll be strong, hard working and outshine all your expectations - a blessing to you and the people around him. Here's a rough guide to help you understand your differences!

about him . . .
For better or worse, men generally value power, competency, efficiency and achievement. They are always trying to develop skills and prove themselves. In fact this is not ungodly. It's actually a good way to gain self confidence. These things only become a problem when they are done out of wrong motives and take the place of God.

For most men, fulfillment comes through success and accomplishment rather than sharing and relating. It is the ability to be self sufficient and competent that is most fulfilling to a man. A man, often takes pride in doing things all by himself and doesn't always see we were meant to work together!

Girls... what motivates a man?
A man is motivated when he feels trusted and respected. Trust your man to energize him! He'll give his best performance when he feels loved!

What do Men Really Want?
In a relationship, a man has two main needs: companionship and yes you've guessed it, sex! With regards to sex, it's more than looks that drives men wild, it's attitude. He wants a woman to captivate his imagination. Someone confident who wants him as much as he wants her. Someone that will tease him, force him to chase her and yet will also allow him to capture her! He also wants more than anything a soulmate and friend. Someone loving, caring, affectionate and tender who he can talk to have fun with. He wants someone to love him unconditionally who's there for him yet also someone who he can be there for!

He wants a best friend that will laugh at his jokes, no matter how bad they are! Someone that will take an interest in the things he likes. Someone that will not try to change him, yet who will help him to improve and grow where needed. He wants someone that will trust, respect and admire him. His ideal partner will focus on his good qualities more than than his faults.

How a girl can make him feel special . . .
1. Tell him you wouldn't change a thing about him. (even though it's not true!)
2. Don't interrupt him when he speaks.
3. Be his biggest fan even when he doubts himself.
4. Listen to his kind of music
5. Laugh at his dumb jokes
6. Boys need respect (lol)... respect him:)
9. Trust him completely.
10. Drive when he's tired.
11. Look in his eyes and listen when he talks.
12. A girl should always take his side.

4 things to beware of!
1) It's a mans' natural instinct is to want to 'fix' things - including you!
2) He is not always a good listener.
3) Men don't like unsolicited advice - he's more likely to respond if you refrain from always giving advice!
4) It's good for a man to have male friends. Breaking up your his friendships will emasculate him and he won't be worth having!!!

how a man deals with stress
Do not expect your man to be responsive when he has a problem. When stressed he is more inclined to withdraw to find a solution to his problem than to want to talk it over with someone else. He will come back but its a natural process and it may take some time before he emerges so be patient! Too much pressure and he'll withdraw further.


what women do wrong - written by a man!
The biggest complaint men have about women is that they are trying to change them. Men are like children, by constantly telling him what to do he'll feel controlled and put up defenses. The best way to change a man (if he's actually letting you down) is to love (encourage) him as if he's got no faults(ha), but gently show him where he's letting you down - i.e. don't give him or give in to everything! He'll soon realise he hasn't been playing ball and he'll want to improve himself! If anything remember the following rule: men love to improve themselves but hate being improved. The psychology is simple - male ego and pride are our biggest problem and easily dented, so be firm but gentle!

4 things guaranteed to upset a male!

1) Frequently offer unsolicited advice

3) Change tack every 10 seconds during a conversation!

4) Expect him to react like a woman!

5) Try to change him!

5 Reasons He Won't Commit - Yet

Not all men are freaked out by 'forever', but the ones who are say they're not saying 'never' either, discovers Clara Lee.

It's been done before: men have bought diamond rings, proposed, manoeuvred their way into suits, even been known to enrol in salsa classes weeks before their wedding, to prove they're just as committed as their brides-to-be are to staging a show-stopping first dance as a married couple. Men have participated in the ultimate display of commitment - marriage - so we know they can do it. It's just that they won't do it at a time when most women just have to have the ring - or at least a definite plan that they're headed in that direction.

Although we're of the same species, are men a different kind of animal when it comes to commitment? Are women born sprinters towards Commitment Country, while men are natually snail-paced? We got some answers straight from the horse's mouth.

1. "I do" sounds freakishly like "I'm doomed!" Many women can't wait to tie the knot so that they can truly get started on the next chapter of their lives. However, a number of men see marriage as a large stop sigh signalling the end of their happy bachelor times. Albert*, 34, says, "At this point in my life, it's simply social suicide. I do a lot of travelling with the guys, and if I get married, I know it's goodbye to all that." A simple night of poker, says Albert*, will become a contentious issue once he's signed marriage papers. "I love my girlfriend and I will settle down, eventually," adds Tim*. "But not now." In other words, it's not you. It's him... and his friends.
2. He has the time to wait. Many men go into a relationship without any idea where it might be in a week, much less in six months or two years. When faced with "the next level", they realise they're not sure you're what they're looking for. And they would like to have a little look-around, just to see what they're missing. And hey, they have the time. "It's a little unfair," says Eric*, 33, "but men don't feel pressure to have kids at a certain age. We actually do have the luxury of time." Unless, Eric* explains, the guy is following a self-imposed timetable: marriage by 28, first kid by 30, second by 32. "Most of the time, at least for my friends," he adds, "it's the girl who threatens to walk away from the relationship because she has to have kids already." Some of his friends have opted to take the plunge while others have said they'll wait for someone younger who has more time.
3. He thinks he's going to have to save you. Lee*, 31, says, "I don't want to start planning anything major until I can afford the ring she wants, the big wedding, the gown, the house, everything. My wife has to be happy and materially comfortable." Machismo is not dead - it is alive and well and keeping those wedding bells at bay. While it's sweet that they're more than willing to foot the bill - all the bills - it's a little worrying if they think you come with a steep price tag. Most men don't know there are other options, such as cooperation and sharing, and until you explain this possibility to them, they'll be sidestepping Tiffany's.
4. He's been badly burnt. While there's no scientific proof that women are m ore emotionally resilient than men, this certainly seems like a fact. More women are willing to give commitment a second go even though their previous serious relationship went awry, but men take a while to recover from a near-death experience. If he barely managed to crawl away from his last relationship with a severely battered ego, don't expect him to be up and about any time soon. He may show signs of emotional health, but he's not going there again this time, at least not until he's sure. "I thought everything was going great," says Paul*, 32, of his one-year engagement. "Then she calls it off on the day we get our wedding invitations. Next time, I'll do what women do: I'll look before I leap. I'll look for about two more years."
5. It's you. He might not want to hunker down with you but just can't say it. "didn't have the guts to hurt my girlfriend because she's a really nice person," says Michael*, 32. "But she wasn't The One." So he waited for her to realise that for herself - which hurt just the same. And, for the longest time, she called him a commitment-phobe, when all he really was, was a coward.

Extracted from Female magazine

Is He Worth It?

Time is of the essence when it comes to meeting Mr. Right. Here's how to tell if the one you're seeing now is worth your while.

For Weeps

He's got roving eyes
As long as you're the hottest girl in the room, you'll have his undivided attention. However, should a leggier lass in a shorter skirt walk by, his eyes would follow in her direction.

He talks too much
If his idea of a conversation involves a 20-minute monologue on his brilliant saves on the soccer field, walk out immediately.

He only says yes
It's great that a guy respects your opinions but if he constantly gives in to whatever you want, the yes-man will soon bore the hell out of you.

He orders you about
Even in this age of sexual equality, ladies should still be treated like ladies. If he oreders you to fetch his newspapers, get the car and answers the phone, drop him like a hot potato!

He's always unavailable
We're not asking for a man to be our second shadow but surely it's reasonable to expect him to be around when we're down with the flu? If you're hearing his voicemail more than from him, reconsider.

He's indecisive
You can't get him to make up his mind on anything. Ask him if he's available for dinner on the day after tomorrow, and he'll give a non-committal reply. Commitment-phobe alert!


For Keeps

He listens
He shows a genuine interest in what you have to say and respects your opinions. When you're talking, he responds appropriately to show he's paying attention.

He's spontaneous
He's always suggesting interesting things the two of you could do together. This shows he makes an effort to keep the flames of desire burning.

He compliments you
He notices your new earrings and says how pretty they look on you. You make a clever comment and he smiles indulgently at you like you're the most intelligent girl on the planet.

He gives you space
Personal time is important whether you're single or in a relationship. A man who respects your space and doesn't control you trusts you and has faith in his own charms.

He's affectionate
Ever notice how men tend to clam up and act all macho in public? If he doesn't think twice about giving you a hug or calling you "honey" or "dear" in front of his friends, he's definitely a keeper!

He challenges you
Being in a relationship isn't only about doing romantic things. He wants the best for you and will tell you if he thinks you need to work harder at your career.


Extracted from CLEO magazine November 2005 issue.

WHAT I (DON'T) LIKE ABOUT YOU?

extracted from an email forwarded to me... i find all these very
true even from my own perspective.


Sunday, June 4, 2006
posted by James at 9:28 am

One of the things Amy promised you, our dear 000Relationships
readers, is my perspective on what makes women irresistible.  It's
an interesting topic, because there are so many ways for a woman to
be irresistible: in physical, emotional, and sometimes just
intangible ways.  Then there are the innervating ways that women
can just be plain...well, RE-sistable!  So I've gone through my
conversations with guys, married and unmarried, and come up with a
list of female attributes we like-and hate.  I hope this gives you
a better understanding of what men find irresistible, which is
quite often a balanced personality and lifestyle.  Enjoy!

ATTITUDE

LIKE:
-Men DO like nice girls...but not too nice.  By "nice", we mean
someone who's easy to get along with...but also someone who RESPECTS
herself.  Just like women don't like male pushovers, so males don't
enjoy female pushovers, either.  It's a balance, like almost every
trait.  There's always room for the "grey zone".

DON'T LIKE:
-A woman who falls into the black and white areas: a woman who's
too nice, or too demanding (read: bitchy).  Extreme personalities
often lead to extreme disasters.  Men like a challenge, so it's
nice to have a woman who will challenge you-but all while not
falling into "complete bitch" category.  Again, it all comes down
to finding the middle area.

HUMOR

LIKE:
-A girl who loves to laugh, and can appreciate different types of
humor.

NOT FUNNY!:
-A girl who doesn't laugh at ANYthing, and gives a man a nasty
glare or rude comment when she doesn't enjoy his sense of humor
(unless, of course, it was completely offensive).

CAREERS

LIKE:
-A girl who knows what she wants, enjoys what she does, and works
hard for it, but still finds time for friends and family.  A nice,
balanced life-which, admittedly, isn't always easy.

NOT GONNA "WORK" OUT!:
-A girl who knows what she wants, and gets it by shutting out all
but those who can be of immediate benefit to her.  To those who
AREN'T of immediate benefit, she is cold, ruthless, and generally
impossible to be around.  Work comes first, you come last.

EMOTIONS

LIKE:
-A girl who's open with her feelings, but doesn't make you feel
guilty for her feeling them.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A girl who's accepting of men's feelings, and doesn't make them
feel like a "wuss" for having those feelings.

HATE!!!:
-A girl who's open with her feelings by screaming them,
manipulating situations, and crying when she doesn't get what she
wants.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A girl who thinks of you as less of a man just for expressing your
emotions.  Don't want a woman who will nurture her man like a
little baby, but don't want one who makes him feel like he has to
be someone he isn't, either.

HOBBIES

LIKE:
-A woman who supports your interests.  She may not like them
personally (say, fantasy baseball, or sports in general), but
doesn't try to stop you from enjoying them and making them a part
of your life, either.  Generally open to the idea of doing
something you love.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A woman who shares her hobbies with you, but doesn't force them
down your throat, either.  If she likes ballet, asks you to come
with her to a show, but doesn't get upset if you don't enjoy it as
much as her.

DON'T LIKE, DON'T BOTHER WITH:
-A woman who not only hates your hobbies, but won't even consider
the idea of doing something you enjoy.  Even mentioning going to,
say, a football game, is an attempt in vain.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...
-A woman who forces her hobbies down your throat.  Gets pissed off
when you don't enjoy something as much as her.

INTELLIGENCE

LIKE:
-Balance is crucial.  Guys don't want to feel like idiots in front
of their girl, but don't want to feel like they're WITH an idiot,
either.  Some women are really intelligent, others are not.  That's
fine.  What men want is a woman who makes them feel good about
THEIR intelligence, by having things to talk about, but not feeling
stupid in doing so.

THE SMART THING TO DO IS MOVE ON!:
-A woman who is very intelligent and feels she has to prove it
(which only goes to show her own weaknesses).  Breaks a man down to
size for not knowing as much as her.  JUST AS BAD, a woman who
makes no effort to learn about new things.  Open-mindedness, to
other opinions and to new ideas, is key.

SENSE OF ADVENTURE

LIKE:
-A woman in love with life, and its many possibilities.  Not afraid
to try new things out, even potentially embarrassing ones-read,
karaoke and dancing.

LOVE!:
-A woman who may not particularly enjoy embarrassing things such as
karaoke, but is willing to do them with you because she knows life
is too short.

CAN'T FRIGGIN' STAND!:
-A woman who's afraid to try anything new at all.  Content to stay
at home with her poodles and soap operas.

MONEY

LIKE:
-A woman who will at least offer to pay, especially if she makes a
decent wage.  Also, a woman who has a purposeful occupation.

I WANT A REFUND!:
-A woman who EXPECTS men to pay for her (and not just dinner!), and
refuses to spend a dime on meals and other expenses, even when she
can afford it-or worse, makes more than the man!
A woman who's not willing to work, when she can, is just as bad a
man who's too lazy to work.

LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS

LIKE:
-A woman who, despite wanting marriage, doesn't force it on a man.
She knows that good things come to those who wait, and if it's
meant to be, he'll bring it up himself.  Quality of man counts more
than quantity of engagement ring karats!

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN!:
-A woman so desperate for marriage that you can read it on her
face.  If he says he's not yet ready for a ring, she throws a
tantrum and says he doesn't love her-which is ironic, because
forcing him to commit is anything but love!

APPEARANCES AND DIET

LIKE:
-A woman who is content enough in her body to not whine about it
all the time (especially while not doing anything to solve the
problem), but motivated enough to go to a gym and genuinely try to
do something healthful about her body/diet.

NEXT!:
-A woman who pays absolutely no attention to her body and diet.
Men don't expect every women to have a super-model body, but we DO
expect them to care about their health-how they look, and how they
eat.

SEX

LIKE:
-A woman who is open to new things.  If she brings energy and
openness to the bedroom, her body type won't really matter.

DON'T WANNA GO NEAR:
-A woman who is afraid to try anything new, and who brings a
closed-minded, even disdainful approach to sex.  Makes a man feel
bad for enjoying sex.

TRAVEL

LIKE:
-For me personally, I love a girl who enjoys travelling.  But in
general, guys want a girl who enjoys travelling, but doesn't force
him to travel when he doesn't like it.  Encouraging him gently to
explore, however, is definitely a good quality.

ADIOS!:
-A girl who's NOT open to travel at all.  If she considers Canada a
distant land, something's wrong!  But on the flip side, a girl who
can't stay still without having to fly somewhere, and who makes you
feel guilty for not leaving with her, even when you have important
things to get done, is not any better.

TRUST

LIKE:
-A girl who's loyal!  Is that any surprise?  But also a girl who
gives you trust, when you've shown you're worthy of it (i.e.
clearly stand by her side, even when the going gets rough).

SAYONARA!:
-A girl who always thinks you're up to something, even when you're
not.  In general, a girl who puts no trust in you.  (Hey, I admit,
guys can be just as bad.)

ARGUMENTS

LIKE:
-A woman who is firm and doesn't fool around.  Not a bitch, but not
someone you can walk all over, either.  Has respect for herself-and
for you.

SHOOT ME NOW!:
-A woman who goes to the ends of the earth to prove her point.
Gets angry just for THINKING something different than her.
Generally unpleasant to be around, even with a minor squabble.
Hope you enjoyed this!  Remember, every man is different.  Some
will want more of a caring, motherly type; and some men just love
bitches (just check out Sheryl Argov's book, "Why Men Love
Bitches!").  But all in all, I'm of the opinion that everything in
life comes down to BALANCE, the shades of grey wedged between the
extremes of black and white.  The successful couples I know, are
well-balanced.  While either extreme may seem good on paper, it's
usually the woman who's average just like him, that the average guy
will go for.